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No, it was terrible.

[Nevermind he's smiling up at Clay while he says that]

And that's why it was good.

[Before Clay backs off for real, he turns Allen's hand to plant a kiss on the inside of his wrist, knowing that he can't really feel the sensation, but feeling like doing so all the same. After that, he'll let go of his hand and slide away enough to settle down beside Allen, on his stomach again with his head turned to look at him with fondness in his eyes.]

That tattoo suits you. I like how it looks on you.

[Even if he can't really feel the sensation, he loves the gesture. When Clay turns back on his stomach, he'll move to his side next to him. His arm reaches out over Clay's back in a very loose hug.]

Thanks. I'll probably get more next chance we get. [Cover up some of the scars on his body, much like that one did]

I like yours too. I can't wait to see how it looks when you have all the constellations you want on there.

It'll take forever. I've got it all drawn up back on my ship, if you want to take a look when we get back.

[He has that along with pages of constellations in general, mostly so that he won't forget them while he's here and unable to see them in the sky. With Allen so close, Clay turns over on his side to face him now, then moves his hand to idly trace along Allen's chest.]

How about you? What kinds do you want to get when we find another parlor?

Sure, I'd like to see them.

[Since hey, it's actually kind of cool that Clay took the time to design his own tattoos like that. But he lets out a little pleased "hum" through his nose at the tracing, exhaling]

I don't know, I haven't decided yet. It's just...it'd be a little nice to cover up at least some more of my scars, you know? I mean, I know you don't mind them, it's not like that. It's more... [Nngh it was hard to put into words] Ah- I'm not sure how to explain it.

[He shakes his head] Anyway, I told Sokka I'd get a tattoo of a blue fish if I couldn't think of anything else- so there's always that.

[Clay's gaze turns a bit far away as he continues tracing on Allen's chest, eyeing the scars along it. Yeah... he can kind of understand.]

It's taking control of it, right? It's not letting the scar define who you are. It's you turning something you never wanted into something you do.

[It's sure what he'd like to do with his own chest scar one day, if he can ever get over the thought of something sharp going near it. He hates it, he doesn't want it, but he knows it'll always be there... so why not turn it into something beautiful instead? The scar on his nose is out of the question, but...

He looks back up at Allen, a half smile playing on his lips.]

A blue fish would be cool. Maybe if you got it to look like a watercolor tattoo... [He traces one of the scars, just imagining what it might look like.] Swimming through a river of stars.

[Wow he actually got it. Allen's pretty impressed that he summed it up pretty well even though he hadn't been clear in the slightest. It makes him smile and duck his head as he moves one of his legs to wrap around Clay's]

Ha...yeah, that's exactly it. You're incredible.

[Maybe it has something to do with Clay's own scars, he reason. He's had to deal with those feelings too. Still, it was impressive he got it so on the dot.]

[Still, it gets an affectionate laugh that of course Clay would find some way to bring stars into it, even if it was a good idea.]

You know...that sounds pretty good. Maybe a river up and over the big scar?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[Clay rests one hand on Allen's hip now that he's got his leg around him, while the other slides up that big scar that Allen's talking about. It was one of the more worrisome ones, where Clay wanted to know what the story behind it was and at the same time really didn't want to know. Besides, Allen was alive and well in front of him, so there was no need to poke about it.]

A river keeps flowing no matter what obstacles gets in its way. ["I'll keep walking", he told him once.] And the Blue Fish is out in space now, so that's where the stars would come in.

[Yeah considering it's on his back too....it's easy to tell it's not a great story. In fact it's more a pretty damn stupid story of teenagers at 16 who don't think things through. But anyway-]

And stars are just great, right? [Despite the loving tease, he does like the idea. He'll lean over and give a kiss on his forehead] I like it. You're really good at thinking of these things.

[The whole thinking artistically thing. He had essentially been planning to flip through the binder at the tattoo parlor and picking what seemed good]

[Ah......

That gets him to blush, eyes glancing away.]

I'm, uh... I'm more scientific, so I'm not that good at that stuff.

[he snorts reaching over to move his fingers down Clay's chest] You're still good, scientific or not.

[And since he's blushing-]

Not to mention, extremely good looking.

Edited (I CHANGE WHAT I WANT KUKKI YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!!) 2015-11-13 02:31 (UTC)

[AH.......

WELL. That certainly makes that blush increase in intensity, and Clay lets out a groan of embarrassment as he leans in to press his face to Allen's collarbones]

Alleeeeeeen.

[Which makes him laugh lightly, because wow. Way to dish compliments out like crazy but be unable to take them! At least, he was pretty sure Clay didn't have any sort of self-esteem issue. So man wow.]

[He leans his head down so he can kiss Clay's head while he's got his face all buried in his chest like that]

I love you.

[There's some muttering against Allen's chest while he winds an arm around his waist in a loose hug. Since it was all muffled though, Clay lifts his head to kiss the front of Allen's neck, then turns it to rest his cheek against him instead.]

I love you too.

[It's not the first time they've exchanged those words, but hearing it still makes him smile and his heart flutter. He'll let there be a moment of comfortable silence between them, just enjoying the feeling of Clay against him.]

[Finally, he'll speak though]

Hey, Clay?

I've been meaning to ask you...how you've been? I mean, with everything going on with the Marsiva and the calibrations...

[He says half-apologetically] I mean, I know I've been kind of wrapped up in my own things the past couple weeks. [Which wasn't without guilt. Noah or not, they were supposed to have an equal relationship right? Both of them were supposed to support each other] I probably should've asked more, sorry.

Mm, it's fine. I'm glad you're asking... And I've been fine.

[He'd been smiling a little, lazily stroking Allen's back while soaking in that comfortable silence. And the fact that Allen's checking on him makes him happy, just knowing that there's an open channel of communication between them. He can't fault Allen for being wrapped up in his own things; this whole thing had been intrusive, and then for the Noah to wake up again...

Still, though... Now that he's thinking about it. His smile fades after a moment, and he leans his head back to look up at him.]

Actually, there's... I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things.

[With that, Clay turns over on his back, both hands lifting to run over his forehead and slide into his hair. There are two things in particular that stick out, and what to talk about first...]

... I wanted to thank you. I remember pretty much everything from the calibrations, and I know you only touched one of those memories... thanks for that. [He lets out a heavy sigh] I had a friend go into several... most of them I didn't want anyone to see.

Yeah?

[It doesn't surprise him that it took a moment for Clay to speak up about something, to initially say he was fine. So when he does start speaking his mind, Allen props himself up with his arm, looking at Clay to show he's listening.]

You don't have to thank me for that. I'm sorry I touched even one- [Even if he had no idea what it would do] ...I mean, not that I don't want to know more about you. I do. But...it's your past. If you want me to know something, I trust that you'll tell me when you're ready.

[Which man...that second part makes him frown more. Just who was it?]

...But really? A friend of yours really went through several of them?

Edited 2015-11-14 05:33 (UTC)

[He frowns as well, nodding once to that.]

Yeah... even one I barely remember myself. I'm not supposed to talk about anything that had to do with the memory. [Not "I don't want to", but he just can't. Clay was sworn to secrecy, and he takes that sort of thing seriously.] But... there it was. And he ended up seeing all of it, even though I didn't want him to.

[It'd been like a dream, but he still remembers how he reacted. Lurching forward, shouting, pleading with him not to... and yet.]

I think he wanted to know more about me, or something. But... What I expect out of anyone I'm friends with is trust - like you just talked about. [He looks at Allen with that, and he reaches out to stroke his cheek with the back of his fingers.] I know I don't talk about myself much... but I will, and I do. I want people to trust me to say so, if they want to hear it. Not... pry it out of my head.

[He lets out another sigh, letting his hand drop back to the bed.]

So... I don't really know what to do about that. If I should even do anything.

...If what he did makes you upset, then you should say so. [He offers a half little shrug] I know that if it were me, I'd probably punch him.

[Though Clay's much more...even tempered than he is ahem]

I mean...even if his heart was coming from the right place, choosing to violate someone's mind and privacy like that isn't the right choice. Not if they want to be your friend.

Edited 2015-11-14 06:06 (UTC)

[The punching remark does get him to half-smile, at least. Yeah, Allen would do that, huh? Clay's not quite as hot-headed, and he's pretty sure even if he tried to punch him, he himself would probably get more hurt than the other guy would.]

... Yeah. I've been meaning to talk to him about it. I haven't seen him since the calibration. [Very elusive this guy is, even in a place where it's hard to hide. Jfc.] It's been bothering me since then. [He brings his hands back to his forehead, scrubbing them through his hair.] When I woke up, it felt like... I wanted to take a long shower and tear my head apart.

Maybe you could try sending him a message? Unless he's not answering those... [Yeah jeez this place is literally one giant hallway how do you manage it Orion]

[But it's his turn to reach out and stroke Clay's cheek, this time comfortingly] I can get that feeling... [With Nea, he felt it regularly] I'm sorry he did that to you. These calibrations are awful.

I can try doing that...

[He almost doesn't want to, but at this rate...]

They really are. [Clay leans into the touch, grateful for the comfort.] I know mine's not as bad as a lot of other people, but still.

It doesn't matter if yours is better or worse than other people's. It's not like only the person who has it the worst is allowed to feel bad.

I mean honestly, being forced to share so much whether we want to or not is hard for anyone.

Mm... you're right.

[He takes Allen's hand in his own and gives it a light squeeze, then starts to pull himself up to a sitting position. He's not leaving or anything, he just feels that this next part will be easier to talk about like this.]

Which brings me to the other thing I talked about. When I went to your calibration... I tried not to touch anything, I swear. But when I was looking for my visor, I ended up brushing up against - something. [Honestly, he wasn't really paying attention to what exactly they were.] And I saw a memory of your dad. Mana? I'm sorry I did that, and I didn't touch anything else. [Except for his own visor, but that was safe to take regardless.]

You did?

[That...catches him by surprise, hearing Clay say that name. He'll move to sit up as well, looking at Clay. He's not mad, since Clay is apologizing and it does sound like an accident, but there is concern in his expression]

What...did you see?

[Since man there's a whole range of memories involving Mana he rather Clay didn't see]

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